I have no qualifications to do anything else and there weren't any formal application forms you had to fill in for stand-up, so I thought I'd give that a twist.

I'm Irish, yeah, but I don't need to get up on a soapbox about it.

The sensible thing for everyone to do would be to write all their op-eds and think pieces now so they're ready the day after the election when [Donald] Trump is no longer in the picture. God, I can't wait for that. I hope he just goes away.

I've always wanted to visit [Washington]. The Smithsonian has some fantastic archival material on blues music, which I'm really into. There's a ton of stuff I want to do there. but it just never happened.

Eggs! They're not a food, they belong in no group! They're just farts clothed in substance!

I really can't describe what my stand-up is like - people see it and they say it's like that, or it's like this, and that's really up to them, that's fine, but I don't sit around all day analysing it. I just try and enjoy a show and interest myself because if I don't do that then I won't interest anybody else.

I don't want to do panel games or adverts. I really like challenges. I always get roles as an art teacher or a photographer. In the future I want to play something like a mugger/assassin/pastry chef.