Why do I even dare to think I could dream I could imagine I could hope?!

I need a healthy injection of cynicism right now.

You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them.

The truth is that I'm constitutionally incapable of doing an ordinary job.

Eggs! They're not a food, they belong in no group! They're just farts clothed in substance!

Adulthood feels like walking around in the desert with a bag over your head, being bumped into by people who rob you as they bore you.

You’re not an adult at all - you're just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don't understand...