People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.'

Eggs! They're not a food, they belong in no group! They're just farts clothed in substance!

I've been writing since I was very young, even before I was a teenager. As far as I'm concerned, I am a writer - whether my writing's spoken or written in a blog, paper, book or printed on the side of a submarine.

If you're a comic, you don't have a rehearsal room, you rehearse on stage. My main concern is remembering everything.

You have to assume that you're talking to the most intelligent, tuned-in audience you could ever get. That's the way you're going to get the best out of people. Whether they know you or not shouldn't matter for comedy. They should get to know you pretty quickly. and they should be having a good time pretty quickly.

We are both drawn to surreal situations so the writing was a joy.

When things are going well, I can't write fast enough to keep up with my mind. Writing walks, speech runs and talk flies. Other times, though, it's like fishing.