I'm a very jaded and cynical person.

We did some camera tests blacking it out, we made a prosthetic with a gap in it, but that made me look like a donkey, so I vetoed that right away. And then I just finally called my dentist and said, 'You know, I've had this implant for 20 years. What's it involve in taking it out?' And he said, 'It's actually not that big a deal. We can do that.' So we took it out and I was toothless for three months, for the run of the movie [ The Hangover] .I take my job very seriously.

Alcohol causes conflicts, firearms resolve conflicts.

April is tax month. If you are having trouble filing your taxes, then you should hire an accountant. They'll give you the same advice that they've given hundreds of corporations - taxes are for douche bags.

It has been said that a rolling stone gathers no moss. I would add that sometimes a rolling stone also gathers no verifiable facts or even the tiniest morsels of journalistic integrity.

There are currently more political parties in Iraq than unbombed buildings to hold them.

There really aren't any deletes [in The Hanover movie]. There's like one or two deleted scenes but they're not important or meaningful scenes.