The population of the United Kingdom has, for the first time, reached sixty million. If they stood on each other's shoulders they would reach perhaps twenty feet in the air before toppling over.

well with me now is Geoffrey Robinson. He was once voted 'After-dinner Speaker of the Year', so if you've had your tea, you're in for a treat

Our editor came to work today in a vibrant pink shirt. Vibrant. Several members of staff have had to go home sick.

As a Doctor, I'm often asked: why can't we see more pictures of Albania?

Ball-tampering. There, I've said it. Things that shouldn't be said: the judge in the Saddam trial appears to be wearing comedy specs and moustache.

I'm sorry for croaking at you this evening. This is PM, I'm Eddie Mair: the walrus of news.

Sinn Fein say, "The British government are buggers".