My computer tells me that in twenty-five years there will be no more computers.

A drink a day keeps the shrink away.

Alaska's chief attractions are: (a) its small and insignificant human population, thanks to the miserable climate; and (b) its large and magnificent wildlife population, thanks to (a). Both of these attractions are being rapidly diminished, however, by (c) the Law of Growth and Space-Age Sleaze.

The death penalty would be even more effective, as a deterrent, if we executed a few innocent people more often.

There is a deep, abiding, unshakable satisfaction in a life of complete failure.

Mozart, striving for perfection, wrote the same symphony forty-one times. In his case, it worked. He wrote a perfect symphony.

A pretty girl can do no wrong.