I compare Stephen Sondheim with humor, because humor is unanalyzable. You can't analyze humor. You just have to get through it.

Certain type of actresses get younger instead of older. I always say, 'Only ingenues age.'

I wouldn't have a nose job. I like my nose fine.

Drama drama drama. The public wants it, so let them get the whole ugly mess. Why not?

I think the most interesting New Yorkers are the people who were not born here.

I always say, 'If you can't give a reason for the banana peel being in the alley, then don't have the comic slide over it.' Do you understand what I mean? First explain how the banana peel got there quickly. And then there's a reason for all the comedy.

You can't be funny unless you're tragic, and you can't be tragic unless you're funny.