All you have to do is say, 'I'm going home,' and you're the most popular girl at the party.

I don't dislike the way I look. I think I look fine. I think I look extraordinary for 88. And I've got energy. Out of my way.

I care about money, very much. I want it. I don't ever want to be without it. My mother once said about me, 'Elaine has to have money.'

I'm going to do less performing because I'm tired. It's hard to convince anybody that you're just going to take it easy.

I always say, 'If you can't give a reason for the banana peel being in the alley, then don't have the comic slide over it.' Do you understand what I mean? First explain how the banana peel got there quickly. And then there's a reason for all the comedy.

Tony Bennett said to me, "Wow, your talent is amazing." Maybe he's a bore, maybe he's a jerk, but when he said that to me, I didn't need anything more than that.

I don't think there's any thrill in the world like doing work you're good at.