Onstage, nothing is as important as truth, nothing. As soon as you lie, they know it.

For my money, insecurity, depression, etc, can be healed by way of El Morocco, sad songs at 4am, and the pop of a champagne cork

I think the most interesting New Yorkers are the people who were not born here.

I don't think I'm gonna die tomorrow or even two weeks from now, or even ever. I just don't know - who the hell knows what's gonna happen to them? Nobody! Isn't that comforting? Nobody has a clue. I like that we don't know. And I like that it's somebody else's decision, not mine.

I care about money, very much. I want it. I don't ever want to be without it. My mother once said about me, 'Elaine has to have money.'

Diabetes is a lousy, lousy disease.

I love reviews. Anybody who tells you they don't read reviews is a liar.