I appreciate your giving my book -- and in no small way, me -- a chance. To thank you, I really wanted to acknowledge all of you in the book. Unfortunately, I didn't have enough room for each name. So I've put in a code name that stands for all of you reading this book. The name is 'Mom.' It will be our little secret. So when you see 'Mom' in the acknowledgments, you'll know I'm really talking about you. And don't let my mother try to tell you otherwise.

You know me. Any excuse to put on a dress.

I hope I make people feel better. I hope I take people out of their situations a little bit and make them happier. That's really why I do what I do.

It's funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source.

Some of the most devastating things that happen to you will teach you the most

Take a nap in a fireplace and you'll sleep like a log.

You listen to any monologue on late-night TV or just in general, to people talking, and there's always a joke at someone's expense. It's sarcasm; it's nasty. Kids grow up hearing that, and they think that's what humor is, and they think it's OK. But that negativity permeates the entire planet.