Way, way back in the day, like in the 1990s, if you wanted to tell everyone you ate waffles for breakfast, you couldnโt just go on the Internet and tweet it out. There was only one way to do it. You had to go outside and scream at the top of your lungs, 'I ate waffles for breakfast!' Thatโs why so many people ended up in institutions. They seemed crazy, but when you think about it, they were just ahead of their time.
Ellen DeGeneresSometimes when I am driving I get so angry at inconsiderate drivers that I want to scream at them. But then I remember how insignificant that is, and I thank God that I have a car and my health and gas. That was phrased wrong-normally you wouldn't say, thank God I have gas.
Ellen DeGeneresWe went to lunch and were talking about procrastination and the waitress overheard us and she said, 'I have a problem with procrastination, too.' I said 'Really?... Get my sandwich.'
Ellen DeGeneresI didn't go to college at all, any college, and I'm not saying you wasted your time or money, but look at me, I'm a huge celebrity.
Ellen DeGeneresI think people talk too much anyway. Sometimes people are talking to me and in my mind I'm just like โshut up, shut up, shut upblah blah blah blah blaaaaah.
Ellen DeGeneres