Some of the most devastating things that happen to you will teach you the most

You have to have funny faces and words, you can't just have words. It is a powerful thing, and I think that's why it's hard for people to imagine that women can do that, be that powerful.

I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon.

And we certainly don't have full conversations on cellphones. You know? Usually the reception is so bad, but it's only bad on your side. The person talking to you has no clue. They're just rambling on and on. You've got your finger jammed in your ear, you're shushing people on the streets. You're ducked behind a dumpster so you can hear about your friend's new hair cut. What about the bangs are they shorter?! Are the bangs shorter?! The bangs!

Did you ever feel like the whole world was going to a party and your invitation got lost in the mail?

I put a basketball in front of George Clooney's door and sprayed it with supermodel perfume to lure him out.

I get paid very well for an amazing, amazing life. I'm blessed.