Do we have to know who's gay and who's straight? Can't we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive?

For me, it's that I contributed, ... That I'm on this planet doing some good and making people happy. That's to me the most important thing, that my hour of television is positive and upbeat and an antidote for all the negative stuff going on in life.

My hair is always at its best in New York. I don't know what's in the water. It could be mousse.

In the 80's we had high, high, waisted pants, that if they came up any higher they'd have to go up another size, if you know what I mean.

You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled.

I don't need a baby growing inside me for nine months. If I'm going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to achieve that state the old-fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before.

If there weren't blacks, Jews and gays, there would no Oscars. Or anyone named Oscar, if you think about that.