Do we have to know who's gay and who's straight? Can't we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive?

I think there's too much mult-tasking going on. I think people need to quiet down and focus and be still more.

Come on, if you don't win tonight it doesn't mean you're not a good person, it just means you're not a good actor.

I would rather be the good aunt who never says anything bad and lets the parents discipline the child.

I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. Its been about two months since I've worked out. And I just don't have the time. Which uh..is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch TV. And get a bone density test. And uh.. try to figure out what my phone number spells in words.

For some reason, we can't just enjoy somebody else's success. Somehow, that's going to affect us. If they have more, then I have less - and I don't know why.

Have you ever heard somebody sing some lyrics that you've never sung before, and you realize you've never sung the right words in that song? You hear them and all of a sudden you say to yourself, 'Life in the Fast Lane?' That's what they're saying right there? You think, 'why have I been singing 'wipe in the vaseline?' how many people have heard me sing 'wipe in the vaseline?' I am an idiot.