I had no intention of becoming a comedian. I just wanted to make people happy. I tried everything-I shucked oysters, I painted houses, I sold vacuum cleaners. But there was always a voice saying, You should be doing something different. And it was usually my boss and I was being fired.
Ellen DeGeneresI think there's too much mult-tasking going on. I think people need to quiet down and focus and be still more.
Ellen DeGeneresSometimes when I am driving I get so angry at inconsiderate drivers that I want to scream at them. But then I remember how insignificant that is, and I thank God that I have a car and my health and gas. That was phrased wrong-normally you wouldn't say, thank God I have gas.
Ellen DeGeneresOur flaws are what makes us human. If we can accept them as part of who we are, they really don't even have to be an issue.
Ellen DeGeneres