I had no intention of becoming a comedian. I just wanted to make people happy. I tried everything-I shucked oysters, I painted houses, I sold vacuum cleaners. But there was always a voice saying, You should be doing something different. And it was usually my boss and I was being fired.

It feels good. Kinda like when you have to shut your computer down, just sometimes when it goes crazy, you just shut it down and when you turn it on, it's okay again. That's what meditation is to me.

Quick decision makers are often stuck behind annoying people in line at Starbucks.

I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.

It's our challenges and obstacles that give us layers of depth and make us interesting.

I watch people's behavior and notice things. I think that's why I became a comedian. I notice how stupid the things we do are.

I like sitting at outdoor restaurants; it would be nice to go someplace on the street and not worry about somebody taking my picture while I'm about to take a bite of something.