I'm sure there's somebody out there who doesn't like Betty White because she's short and has white hair.

Being a teenager and figuring out who you are is hard enough without someone attacking you.

Have you ever thought about toothpaste? Ellen has! And she makes a point about all of the types of toothpaste that Colgate offers!

Have you seen the deer heads on the walls of bars, the ones wearing party hats, sunglasses and streamers? I feel sorry for them because obviously they were at a party having a good time.

It must be around forty, when you're "over the hill." I don't even know what that means and why it's a bad thing. When I go hiking and I get over the hill, that means I'm past the hard part and there's a snack in my future. That's a good thing as far as I'm concerned.

I don't know what people are scared of...maybe they think their children will be influenced by gay marriage, but I've got to tell you, I was raised by two heterosexuals. Everywhere I looked - heterosexuals. And they did not influence me. It's time we love people for who they are and let them love who they want.

Take a nap in a fireplace and you'll sleep like a log.