You listen to any monologue on late-night TV or just in general, to people talking, and there's always a joke at someone's expense. It's sarcasm; it's nasty. Kids grow up hearing that, and they think that's what humor is, and they think it's OK. But that negativity permeates the entire planet.
Ellen DeGeneresLife is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen days.
Ellen DeGeneresReally, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I've been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I'm happy I could give him work.
Ellen DeGeneresSomething big happened over the weekend. Something that affects everybody, all over the world. George Clooney got married.
Ellen DeGeneresI see those picketers, and I think you know, if I weren't a loving, non-violent, spiritual person, I would really go over there and grab those signs and smash them over their heads and shove them up their asses. But...I'm a loving, spiritual person.
Ellen DeGeneresDo you feel insecure because you keep getting the nagging feeling that you're not that smart? Well, I've got good news for you, my friend. You have no need to be insecure. That nagging feeling is absolutely right on target. You are not that smart. But I have more good news for you. You are also not alone.
Ellen DeGeneres