I don't know who had the bright idea of teaching pneumonia how to walk, but I'd like to find that dunderhead before he decides he wants to teach it how to drive.

We're just trying to find happiness in the bodies and minds we were given, like everyone else.

I'm a comedian, and I definitely see the humor in a lot of things. I am also sad a lot. I cry often and easily. I think you're supposed to feel all kinds of things. You're supposed to laugh, you're supposed to cry, you're not supposed to shove your feelings under the rug.

I wanted to have money; I wanted to be special; I wanted people to like me; I wanted to be famous.

I don't think I remember my first memory.

I don't consider myself an interviewer as much as an entertainer.

I've got a lot to say about television. There's a lot going on in television right now and I feel like a huge part of television.