Take a nap in a fireplace and you'll sleep like a log.

People give me such a hard time because I don't wear dresses. What's that got to do with anything?

I never see the glass half empty because I drink out the bottle

We use only 10% of our brains... Imagine how smart we would be if we used the other 60%!

Save a life this Thanksgiving, and join me in starting a new tradition by adopting a turkey instead of eating one through Farm Sanctuary's Adopt-A-Turkey Project.

So, I bought a new CD and I was trying to get it open but couldn't with all the layers... I mean plastic and then tape, and the tape is like government tape. It says 'open here.' Is that sarcasm?

You know, if you're going to be honest with yourself, you have to admit that you go into show business wanting people to talk about you and wanting everyone to know who you are. But that also means there are going to be a whole bunch of people who don't like you. No matter who you are. I'm sure there's somebody out there who doesn't like Betty White because she's short and has white hair.