What is a bore? Maxwell definition: a vacuum cleaner of society, sucking up everything and giving nothing. How do you spot one? Bores are always anxious to be seen talking to you.

Nothing spoils a good party like a genius.

The secret of my success is that no woman has ever been jealous of me.

Keep your talent in the dark and you'll never be insulted.

Serve the dinner backward, do anything - but for goodness sake, do something weird.

The loudest psalm singer in the congregation always is a reformed sinner.

don't try for wit. Settle for humor. You'll last longer.