When you expand the definition of marriage beyond one man and one woman, society can expect other consenting adults in other configurations to say that their choices deserve recognition.

I do feel haunted by some of the letters and the suffering people have endured. But I keep in mind that the people who write to me know that I am a journalist and an on-line advice columnist, not a social service professional.

I spent most of my 20s dating older men, and I really wish I had spent that time dating men my own age who were going through the same experiences I was. I totally understand the appeal of a mature, dashing older man over fellow twenty-somethings who are still figuring things out. And, true, a fling with an older man can be instructive in many ways, and no doubt he finds you attractive.

The sadness from reading letters that you know you can't help because it's a person who's in extremis and their problems are not soluble by an advice column.

I understand polyamory is different from polygamy, and doesn't share the latter's rigid and noxious views that men run the show and are the only ones allowed multiple partners.

Children need adult men in their lives.

Sure, people talk about all kinds of stuff at the office, but surely everyone has better things to do than sound like they're auditioning for Fox News.