In other words, it was a struggle with himself. And the product of that struggle: anger, bitterness, resentment, envy or transformation, aspiration, hope, decency..the product of that struggle is the quality of your life and the nature of your soul.
Emma ForrestYouโre like Marilyn Monroe,โ Ken tells me, which I take as a compliment and say a nervous โThank Youโ. Interrupting, he adds, โYouโre all velvet and Velcro. Men want you because youโre sexy and broken and when it gets too rough they can say โHey! This toy is broken!โ and toss you aside without feeling bad.
Emma ForrestYour own love story? Your paramour may have had lovers before you. But no one has ever loved him the way you do. No one has ever heard music. Not the way you hear it. The songs are beautiful vampires, asleep in your iPod, coming alive at night, aglow. You can have them on your hours, yours to conduct. Music shapes us and we shape it.
Emma ForrestIt took a long time, but my heart now feels full when I think of him. When you fall in love againโwhich I haveโit's funny the other things that come back in with that open-ness. You have this ghost chorus of the lovers who came before, but they're benign now, they're good spirits.
Emma ForrestI envied women with signature hair-dos, signature perfumes, signature sign-offs. Novelists who tell Vogue Magazine: โI canโt live without my Smythson notebook, Pomegranate Noir cologne by Jo Malone and Frette sheetsโ. In the grip of madness, materialism begins to look like an admirable belief system.
Emma ForrestIt is madness. And if you don't know who you are, or if your real self has drifted away from you with the undertow, madness at least gives you an identity. It's the same with self-loathing. You're probably just normal and normal-looking but that's not a real identity, not the way ugliness is. Normality, just accepting that you're probably normal-looking, lacks the force field of self-disgust. If you don't know who you are, madness gives you something to believe in.
Emma Forrest