There were only two men on the planet better educated in the various martial arts than Butler, and he was related to one of them. The other lived on an island in the South China Sea, and spent his days meditating and beating up palm trees. You had to feel sorry for the B'wa Kell.

How was your... eh... trip?" Artemis felt the sting of tears in his own eyes. "Um, eventful.

When I went to school, I was already reading and writing. In fact, I was offended that the other kids couldn't.

Who or what inspires you?" "I must admit that I often read my own articles in scientific journals and inspire myself.

"I live for agressive action!" thundered Orion squeakily, which was unusual. "Oh, how I pray that dragon will turn round that I may smite it." "Smite it with what?" wondered Foaly. "Your secret birthmark?" "Don't you mock my birthmark, which I may or may not have.

Thankfully the rest of the world assumed that the Irish were crazy, a theory that the Irish themselves did nothing to debunk. They had somehow got it into their heads that each fairy lugged around a pot of gold with him wherever he went. While it was true that LEP had a ransom fund, because of its officers' high-risk occupation, no human had ever taken a chunk of it yet. This didn't stop the Irish population in general from skulking around rainbows, hoping to win the supernatural lottery.

The craft's occupants clutched their armrests, and more than one of them closed their eyes. But not Artemis. He couldn't. There was something morbidly fascinating about flying into an uncharted tunnel at a reckless speed with only a kleptomaniac dwarf's word for what lay at the other end.