What hurts this person is not the occurrence itself, for another person might not feel oppressed by this situation at all. What is hurting this person is the response he or she has uncritically adopted. It is not a demonstration of kindness or friendship to the people we care about to join them in indulging in wrongheaded, negative feelings.
EpictetusThe cause of all human evils is the not being able to apply general principles to special cases.
EpictetusIn prosperity it is very easy to find a friend; but in adversity it is the most difficult of all things.
Epictetus