Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours.

If the studios paid the artists, how would they ever be able to afford the executives?

John Cleese once told me he'd do anything for money. So I offered him a pound to shut up, and he took it.

I just believe in a huge universe of billions of miles.

I don't invest in the stock market, but I have pension funds - some in America and the UK.

Of the sparkling wines, the most famous is Perth Pink. This is a bottle with a message in, and the message is "beware". This is not a wine for drinking; this is a wine for laying down and avoiding.

Reading Alan Zweibel makes me laugh out loud. And yet it is not a particularly funny name.