At Cambridge, you have to kiss the vice-chancellor's fingers. But I missed out on that, 'cause I was doing a matinee. I don't want to kiss a strange man's fingers anyway.

Writers tend to suffer from back problems because they spend their time bent over a desk.

I love being an older comic now. It's like being an old soccer or an old baseball player. You're in the Hall of Fame and it's nice, but you're no longer that person in the limelight on the spot doing that thing.

Executives do not on the whole do well with comedy. They can't understand it, they can't read it, they can't spot it.

I like being a foreigner. For me, to live in California is very pleasant - I'm more comfortable not feeling a part of everything, not feeling responsible for the government or the roads or the health system.

I've always found bad films more enjoyable than good ones.

What's brown and sounds like a bell? DUNG!