Adolescents need freedom to choose, but not so much freedom that they cannot, in fact, make a choice.

Babies control and bring up their families as much as they are controlled by them; in fact ... the family brings up baby by being brought up by him.

The growing child must derive a vitalizing sense of reality from the awareness that his individual way of mastering experience (his ego synthesis) is a successful variant of a group identity and is in accord with its space-time and life plan.

When we looked at the life cycle in our 40s, we looked to old people for wisdom. At 80, though, we look at other 80-year-olds to see who got wise and who not. Lots of old people don't get wise, but you don't get wise unless you age.

In the social jungle of human existence, there is no feeling of being alive without a sense of identity.

Children cannot be fooled by empty praise and condescending encouragement. They may have to accept artificial bolstering of their self-esteem in lieu of something better, but what I call their accruing ego identity gains real strength only from wholehearted and consistent recognition of real accomplishment, that is, achievement that has meaning in their culture.

Do not mistake a child for his symptom.