He has so often told me he is madly in love with me, but what does that mean when I haven't had a good word from him in three months?

God, I am afraid he won't give me his answer today. If only somebody would help me - it is all so terribly depressing.

I am racking my brains to find out why he left without saying goodby to me.

Perhaps he wanted to be alone with Dr. G., who was here, but he should have let me know. At Hoffmann's I felt I was sitting on hot coals, expecting him to arrive every moment.

If I had a dog I would not feel so lonely, but I suppose that is asking for too much.

Today I bought two lottery tickets, because I had a feeling that it would be now or never - they were both blanks. So I am not going to be rich after all. Nothing at all to be done about it.

I want to be a pretty corpse.