Almost all crime is due to the repressed desire for aesthetic expression.

If it could only be like this always - always summer, always alone, the fruit always ripe and Aloysius in a good temper.

The splendid thing about education is that everyone wants it. Like influenza, you can give it away without losing any of it yourself.

Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.

I am suing Lord Beaverbrook for libel and hope for some lovely tax-free money in damages. He has very conveniently told some lies about me.

News is what a chap who doesn't care much about anything wants to read.

It doesn't matter what people call you unless they call you pigeon pie and eat you up.