'I don't believe you've changed at all, Charles.' 'No, I'm afraid not.' 'D'you want to change?' 'It's the only evidence of life.'

Enclosing every thin man, there's a fat man demanding elbow-room.

Evelyn Waugh: How do you get your main pleasure in life, Sir William? Sir William Beveridge: I get mine trying to leave the world a better place than I found it. Waugh: I get mine spreading alarm and despondency and I get more satisfaction than you do.

There is no ordinary run of mankind, there are only individuals who are totally different. And whether a man is naked and black and stands on one foot in Sudan or is clothed in some kind of costume in a bus in England, they are still individuals of entirely different characters.

I do not believe the expenditure of $2.50 for a book entitles the purchaser to the personal friendship of the author.

Never get mixed up in a Welsh wrangle. It doesn't end in blows like an Irish one, but goes on forever.

A typical triumph of modern science to find the only part of Randolph that was not malignant and remove it.