Insecurity breeds treachery: if you are kind to people who hate themselves, they will hate you as well.

He travels fastest who travels alone, and that goes double for she. Real feminism is spinsterhood.

Keep dating and you will become so sick, so badly crippled, so deformed, so emotionally warped and mentally defective that you will marry anybody.

I don't suffer fools, and I like to see fools suffer.

Each time a mediocre singer performs, he is saying, in effect, "This is good enough for you." The audience, thrust into that familiar American mood of knowing something is wrong but not knowing what it is, unconsciously absorbs the insult and projects it back onto the mediocre performer in the form of inattention, rudeness and noise.

Wit goes for the jugular, not the jocular, and it's the opposite of football; instead of building character, it tears it down.

In the last few years, race relations in America have entered upon a period of intensified craziness wherein fear of being called a racist has so thoroughly overwhelmed fear of being a racist that we are in danger of losing sight of the distinction.