It's the Government's job to print the money, deliver the mail and declare war. Now give me my cigarettes.

to a Southerner it is faux pas, not sins, that matter in this world.

There is more sexism in a year's worth of movies than actually exists in a woman's entire lifetime.

I do believe in reincarnation, but I do not believe there is life before noon.

Episcopalians have always preferred the flying buttress to the pillar of the church.

The witty woman is a tragic figure in American life. Wit destroys eroticism and eroticism destroys wit, so women must choose between taking lovers and taking no prisoners.

Wit goes for the jugular, not the jocular, and it's the opposite of football; instead of building character, it tears it down.