God may have loved the common people, but a trip to any shopping mall suggests that He made far too many of them.

Owning your own home is America's unique recipe for avoiding revolution and promoting pseudo-equality at the same time.

If you ever meet someone who cannot understand why solitary confinement is considered punishment, you have met a misanthrope.

Any hope that America would finally grow up vanished with the rise of fundamentalist Christianity. Fundamentalism, with its born-again regression, its pink-and-gold concept of heaven, its literal-mindedness, its rambunctious good cheer... its anti-intellectualism... its puerile hymns... and its faith-healing... are made to order for King Kid America.

Let's bring back grandmothers! A real family consists of three generations. It's time Americans stopped worrying about interference and being a burden on the children and regrouped under one roof.

Each time a mediocre singer performs, he is saying, in effect, "This is good enough for you." The audience, thrust into that familiar American mood of knowing something is wrong but not knowing what it is, unconsciously absorbs the insult and projects it back onto the mediocre performer in the form of inattention, rudeness and noise.

Real feminism is spinsterhood. It's time America admitted that old maids give all women a good name.