There is more sexism in a year's worth of movies than actually exists in a woman's entire lifetime.

Showing up at school already able to read is like showing up at the undertaker's already embalmed: people start worrying about being put out of their jobs.

Gradually my whole concept of time changed until I thought of a month as having twenty-five days of humanness and five others when I might just as well have been an animal in a steel trap.

Americans worship creativity the way they worship physical beauty - as a way of enjoying elitism without guilt: God did it.

To me, elitism means a love of excellence and superiority, but America has declared war on both and developed a sick love of the lowest common denominator to make sure no-one becomes too fine for our touted democracy. We are almost at the point of regarding every virtue as elitist.

Wit goes for the jugular, not the jocular, and it's the opposite of football; instead of building character, it tears it down.

I'm for prayer in the schools because ritual and ceremony are calming and civilizing, and the little fartlings should be tamped down whenever possible.