Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house.

How do you know if your child is a writer? Your obstetrician holds his stethoscope to your abdomen and only hears excuses.

Once you go outside your natural audience, there are tons of people that don't like you.

It's very disheartening to encounter a fearful twenty-one year old. They haven't earned the right to be that afraid. It's not like we're living in war-torn Bosnia or something.

People who get married because they're in love make a ridiculous mistake. It makes much more sense to marry your best friend. You like your best friend more than anyone you're ever going to be in love with. You dont choose your best friend because they have a cute nose.

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.