Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.

If thine enemy offend thee, give his child a drum.

I drank my lifetime supply of alcohol and I took my lifetime supply of drugs between the ages of 15 and 19.

No one I knew talked about money. It's not an area of interest.

Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching.

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.

I never had a typewriter. I never had any machines.