Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.

All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.

Twenty-four-hour room service generally refers to the length of time that it takes for the club sandwich to arrive. This is indeeddisheartening, particularly when you've ordered scrambled eggs.

The other day I read that last year 58 million tourists came to New York ... where a puny eight million people are trying to live. Unless they own a hotel chain, I don't think a single one of these eight million people are happy about this.

Nothing succeeds like address.

Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.