Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens.

If you don't have children and you don't have a job, you have time for friendship ... People who have jobs are not the best friends to have. It's better to be friends with people who are unemployed.

I hate writing. I will do anything to avoid it. The only way I could write less was if I was dead.

I've never seen the Kardashians; I'm not sure who they are. But I know a lot about them because it's impossible not to.

Violet will be a good color for hair at just about the same time that brunette becomes a good color for flowers.

In fact, we live in a culture where intelligence, exceptional or not, is reviled.

I have the exact opposite problem of every writer I've ever met: Every writer I've ever met writes things that are too long, and they have to edit them down.