Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens.

All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.

If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.

[On the writers she admires:] I prefer dead writers, because I don't see them at parties.

Nothing succeeds like address.

Whenever I am doing anything else, which is most of the time, even if it is not something like robbing a bank, I feel felonious. Writing is what I'm supposed to be doing.

There are two modes of transport in Los Angeles: car and ambulance. Visitors who wish to remain inconspicuous are advised to choose the latter