Cheese that is required by law to append the word food to its title does not go well with red wine or fruit.

If you're going to America, bring your own food.

What starts love is your ability to stupefy and blind yourself to the point of being able to fall in love. What stops it is waking up.

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.

I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.

People (a group that in my opinion has always attracted an undue amount of attention) have often been likened to snowflakes. This analogy is meant to suggest that each is unique - no two alike. This is quite patently not the case. People, even at the current rate of inflation - in fact, people especially at the current rate of inflation - are quite simply a dime a dozen. And, I hasten to add, their only similarity to snowflakes resides in their invariably and lamentable tendency to turn, after a few warm days, to slush.

I've always been old at heart.