Life is so absurd now that it is almost impossible to be a satirist in this era.

The good thing about being in someone else's apartment is it's so much easier to leave than it is to get someone out.

Bread that must be sliced with an axe is bread that is too nourishing.

In New York, people are very overbooked.You say, When do you want to have dinner? It's May. They say, What about October? And then they complain: Oh you can't believe how booked up I am.

Frenchman: Germans with good food.

You don't have to lay an egg to know if it tastes good.

You should make it hard on yourself to write so you’re easier to read.