If there had been a job of being a reader, I would have taken that, because I love to read and I don't love to write. That would be blissful.
Fran LebowitzI drank my lifetime supply of alcohol and I took my lifetime supply of drugs between the ages of 15 and 19.
Fran LebowitzIf in addition to being physically unattractive you find that you do not get along well with others, do not under any circumstances attempt to alleviate this situation by developing an interesting personality. An interesting personality, is, in an adult, insufferable. In a teenager it is frequently punishable by law.
Fran LebowitzPerhaps one of the more noteworthy trends of our time is the occupation of buildings accompanied by the taking of hostages. The perpetrators of these deeds are generally motivated by political grievance, social injustice, and the deeply felt desire to see how they look on TV.
Fran LebowitzYour responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion picture star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word "collectible" as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success.
Fran Lebowitz