What starts love is your ability to stupefy and blind yourself to the point of being able to fall in love. What stops it is waking up.

If thine enemy offend thee, give his child a drum.

Think before you speak. Read before you think. This will give you something to think about that you didn't make up yourself - a wise move at any age, but most especially at seventeen, when you are in the greatest danger of coming to annoying conclusions.

For the movie review columns, I always knew exactly what I was going to write about - the movies.

One of the biggest changes in my lifetime, is the phenomenon of men wearing shorts. Men never wore shorts when I was young. This is one of the worst changes, by far. It's disgusting. To have to sit next to grown men on the subway in the summer, and they're wearing shorts? They look ridiculous, like children, and I can't take them seriously. My fashion advice, particularly to men wearing shorts: Ask yourself, 'Could I make a living modeling these shorts?' If the answer is no, then change your clothes. Put on a pair of pants.

Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.

White grapes are very attractive but when it comes to dessert people generally like cake with icing.