It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensive domestic cigars.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

To me the outdoors is what you must pass through in order to get from your apartment into a taxicab.

Technological innovation has done great damage ... to eating habits. Food is now available in such unpleasant forms that one frequently finds smoking between courses to be an aid to digestion.

No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.

White grapes are very attractive but when it comes to dessert people generally like cake with icing.

I walk a lot in New York, not for the exercise but to get from place to place, and because it's the way of having the least contact with human beings.