Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy

Never allow your child to call you by your first name. He hasn't known you long enough.

I could not possibly be in a relationship now for more than six days. When I was younger, I might have said six months, although I think the longest relationship I was ever in was three years.

modern science was largely conceived of as an answer to the servant problem and ... it is generally practiced by those who lack a flair for conversation.

I don't care if New York avoided bankruptcy by substituting tourism for the garment business.

If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.

Perhaps one of the more noteworthy trends of our time is the occupation of buildings accompanied by the taking of hostages. The perpetrators of these deeds are generally motivated by political grievance, social injustice, and the deeply felt desire to see how they look on TV.