Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.

Being poor is like being a child. Being rich is like being an adult: you get to do whatever you want. Everyone is nice when they have to be; rich people are nice when they feel like it.

Albert Einstein didn't care where he lived. Albert Einstein was a genius. Albert Einstein wasn't getting lost in the master bedroom, he was lost in thought.

You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter.

If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.