You don't have to lay an egg to know if it tastes good.

While it is undeniably true that people love a surprise, it is equally true that they are seldom pleased to suddenly and without warning happen upon a series of prunes in what they took to be a normal loin of pork.

[Friendships] are easy to get out of compared to love affairs, but they are not easy to get out of compared to, say, jail.

Breakfast cereals that come in the same colors as polyester leisure suits make oversleeping a virtue.

The Italians are the most civilized people. And they're very warm. Basically, they're Jews with great architecture.

There are too many books. The books are terrible. And this is because you have been taught to have self-esteem.

You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.