[On the writers she admires:] I prefer dead writers, because I don't see them at parties.

I hate writing. I will do anything to avoid it. The only way I could write less was if I was dead.

Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.

No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.

Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching.

If you're going to America, bring your own food.

A person who actually knows how to wear clothes...they would look good in any clothes. You see this especially at the Academy Awards. Even if the dresses are beautiful and expensive and important, the actresses can't always carry them. Sometimes I feel like saying to them, "Act! You know how to act, you're an actor. You're about to win an award for, I don't know, convincingly playing that Venezuelan nun who went to war. Now act like you can wear this dress.".