I'm not a nervous person. I'm not afraid to be on TV. I'm only afraid when I write. When I'm at my desk I feel like most people would feel if they went on TV.
Fran LebowitzIf you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
Fran LebowitzIf your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.
Fran LebowitzSmoking is, as far as I am concerned, the entire point of being an adult. Many people find smoking objectionable. I myself find many - even more - things objectionable. I do not like aftershave lotion, adults who roller-skate, children who speak French, or anyone who is unduly tan. I do not, however, go around enacting legislation and putting up signs.
Fran Lebowitz