Here's to the confusion of our enemies!

When lip service to some mysterious deity permits bestiality on Wednesday and absolution on Sunday, cash me out.

Card players have a saying: "It's all right to play if you keep your eyes on the deck" - which is another way of saving, "Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty."

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

If I had done everything I'm credited with, I'd be speaking to you from a laboratory jar at Harvard.

I'm supposed to have a Ph.D. on the subject of women. But the truth is I've flunked more often than not. I'm very fond of women; I admire them. But, like all men, I don't understand them.

That's life,and I can't deny it/Many times I thought of cuttin' out but my heart won't buy it.