The difference between religions and cults is determined by how much real estate is owned.

If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.

The rock and roll business is pretty absurd, but the world of serious music is much worse.

The bassoon is one of my favorite instruments. It has a medieval aroma, like the days when everything used to sound like that. Some people crave baseball...I find this unfathomable, but I can easily understand why a person could get excited about playing the bassoon.

Michael is Janet and Janet is Michael.

Okay, it was the Tree of Knowledge. "You eat this apple; you're going to be as smart as God." We can't have that.

If we cannot be free, we can at least be cheap