The perceptions of middle age have their own luminosity.

It is a silly question to ask a prostitute why she does it ... These are the highest-paid 'professional' women in America.

By listening, by caring, by playing you back to yourself, friends ratify your better instincts and endorse your unique worth. Friends validate you.

Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress.

We must be willing to change chairs if we want to grow. There is no permanent compatibility between a chair and a person. And there is no one right chair. What is right at one stage may be restricting at another or too soft. During the passage from one stage to another, we will be between two chairs. Wobbling no doubt, but developing.

My mother had demonstrated that the best way to defeat the numbing ambivalence of middle age is to surprise yourself - by pulling off some cartwheel of thought or action never even imagined at a younger age.

To be tested is good. The challenged life may be the best therapist.