When the country goes temporarily to the dogs, cats must learn to be circumspect, walk on fences, sleep in trees, and have faith that all this woofing is not the last word.

I was afraid you had deceased,' he said. 'Or gotten engrossed in a long book.

... I never was one to get upset about a few scratches on a motor vehicle, it is meant to be used, not saved.

TV news is as bloody as Shakespeare but without the intelligence and the poetry. If you watch television news you know less about the world than if you drank gin out of a bottle

I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'

I think if the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world for all of us.

Roy Blount's stuff makes me laugh so hard, sometimes I have to go sit in a room and shut the door